Another thought or more

Either I like to complain a lot or life really is frustrating.Maybe it seems so to me because I'm in an inferior position or at least that's how I feel and everything seems unfair and equality lacks most of the times.We are all responsible of our own lives and the actions we take however it seems that some had a few more chances than other, were offered things that others have to either work for or may never have in their life.Now that is frustrating for me and maybe to you too and sometimes I can cope with it and sometimes I just want to yell and break stuff , I feel so much anger, anger that never comes out and stays bottled up.If I would have more patience maybe things would be better, If I could only be able to see the big picture, to have a perspective on the future, but the matter of the fact is that I don t have a perspective, I don't have a plan , I have absolutely no idea what the future will bring.And while I worry about everything and complain about stuff others have a more fun life, fun as I wish mine would be, but I'm not a risk taker, I'm the kind of guy who likes to play it safe and that doesn t work out good as often as I would hope.Just consider these words my punches in the wall, I may be right I may be wrong but this is my brain acting out and I can't stop it.

Murdering Thoughts

This is a blog that I will never publicise in anyway, if you happen to stumble upon this your in luck because we may have some things in common and you may enjoy what you read here or it may be unfortunate for you because you will read something that may either scare you or not be to your taste.In any case these are my thoughts and fingers move faster than a pen might so this is why they are online.

I used to think I'm special, I used to think that something I can do was something special and no one can do it as good as me, but lately I'm starting to think I'm kidding myself because I look around and I see so many people younger than that can do the same thing and those around them think oh that is so interesting you are so smart or I think is more the other way around, what I used to do best now becomes normal something that anyone can do easily, well I think that is a misconception because you can't tell from one encounter or two how good that person is at doing that thing.As you can see I'm avoiding saying what I'm good at or at least think so, because to most it may seem stupid or like I said before, normal, but when I was young it made me special it made me interesting, now I feel like a wash out , the world is moving faster than I can comprehend it.Are you special when you have to WORK for what would apparently make you special?I'm not saying it's something wrong in working, it's just that to be special is to be born special, to have a talent which later on you can develop but how can someone do that when that someone wasn t even given a chance?I don't want to be average, I don't want to be that kind of person of whom people say "Oh he lived a good life, he was quiet, kept to himself, had a nice family, bla bla bla , AVERAGE!!!!!!!" I wanna be someone that people can think of and wonder and say " Oh wow yea him, of course I remember him, awesome guy, crazy dude , fun guy" I guess I really want to be known to be remembered for years to come, but I'm guessing those kind of people are born one in a million and I wasn't in that one million.Still...